How much do you consider yourself a decisive person? What does the concept mean to you? In your opinion, decisiveness means that you always consider your rights? Do you think that a manager who leaves a staff member at the end of the business hours and the day before, is a decisive one? Or, if the employee informs his manager that he will do so after returning from leave, has he shown his resolve?
The answers to these types of questions can be relative, and it is not very easy to accurately identify the decisive behavior. Perhaps the main reason for this is that the boundary between decisiveness and aggressive behavior is very narrow. The definitions of these two can help us identify their differences:
Strongness is based on behavioral equilibrium: in fact, the background of each person’s determination requires predicting his needs and desires, so that he takes into account the rights, needs, and desires of others. When you are decisive, you transfer your request to yourself, but it is not necessary to do so.
Invasive behavior is based on the principle of excellence. Contrary to decisiveness, this type of behavior takes into account the best interests of each individual, regardless of the rights, needs, and feelings or desires of others. When you have aggressive behavior, you ask for your request without asking the other party.
In response to the above examples, when the manager wants his employee to do a new job at the end of the hour, he has behaved more aggressively. Because the demand and the employee’s feelings have not been seen in this demand and they are simply forced to do so. On the other hand, when the employee informs his manager that he will perform this duty after returning from leave, he has shown his determination. Of course, he has considered the director’s right and stated that he will do it as soon as he leaves the leave.
Decisiveness is not very simple, but you can learn this skill. Strengthening decisiveness begins with a proper understanding of our position and belief in our values. When you are firmly convinced, the foundation of self-confidence is also formed in you. Decisive behavior helps you build self confidence and improve your working relationships and your life.
In general, decisive people:
The “win-win” situation is getting easier in the relationship. They also pay attention to the value of the other party and, given this background, they are quick to find.
A better solver of things – they are more likely to perform tasks and find a more powerful solution.
Less stress – they are aware of their own strength, and they do not lose sight of a threat or victim in unexpected and unpredictable cases.
They work – they are doing well – they know they can.
When you are decisive, you do things with a sense of justice and justice. This force originates from your self-reliance and is not your bullying behavior. When you treat others with equality and respect, people will also show you the interactions. In this way, people will consider you as leaders and they will be willing to talk to you.
Naturally, some people have more decisiveness. If your mood tends to be more hostile, it’s better to practice the following skills:
Respect for their rights and others:
Understanding that your rights, feelings, thoughts, needs, and desires are just as important to others as you care about.
Remember that you are as important as others.
Know your rights and protect them.
Believe me you are always worthy of respect and dignity.
Do not apologize to anything.
Understanding needs and desires, asking others to reach satisfaction:
Do not wait for someone to recognize your need.
Know that to take full advantage of your potential, you must respond to your own needs.
Look for ways to reach your desires without sacrificing others.
Understanding how people respond to their own behavior:
How people react to your deception (anger or annoyance), you are not responsible. You just have to control yourself.
As long as you have not entered the privacy of other people’s needs, you have the right to make your own demands.
Express your thoughts and feelings in a healthy and positive way:
You can get angry, but always respect others.
Say what comes to your mind, but respect the feelings of others.
Control your emotions.
Fight against people who do not respect your rights.
Learn not to say:
Know your limits and know what will benefit you.
That you can not do anything, or you can not accept any suggestions.
Take your own right and go along the way.
Provide a good solution for suggestions and always consider the win-win option.
Clarity means you can balance yourself between your serious and violent behavior. You need to be more aware of yourself in order to give you self-control (for further reading, you can refer to step by step steps to understand your abilities). In fact, you have to deal with difficult situations and situations and, if necessary, deal with them.Seriousness and decisiveness are learning and acquiring. Of course, everyone has a degree and can be strengthened. Just be careful that excessive decency will not turn into aggressive and violent behavior.