Life can be hard. But who the hardest are you getting the most? Yourself. A negative voice always casts your head on you. And sometimes you can not be silent. What should I do to deal with this sound? Make sure you think the answer is to increase self-esteem. It is true? Perhaps you’ve been looking for ways to increase self-esteem. We recently encountered an explosive increase in this kind of thinking that increased self-esteem is the answer to all the problems. Everyone is looking for ways to increase self-esteem. But it also has a negative impact on community life, such as the outbreak of fascination.
Kristin Neff, in his book Self-Responsibility, states: “High emphasis on increasing self-esteem leads to an alarming tendency towards self-esteem. Twing tested the self-taught personality questionnaire among 15,000 students from 1987 to 2006. Over the course of the twenty years, the scores have fallen from the ceiling, with 65 percent of the new students having a higher score than their predecessors. ”
If you are looking for ways to increase self-esteem, let me introduce you to another concept. A concept that will definitely be more practical and useful.
The ways to increase confidence are not the answer
As we have said, in the world today, we all have tended to increase self-esteem; this focused on finding ways to increase self-confidence in a country like the United States, with a plan in California with a budget of over $ 250,000 for One year was spent on increasing children’s self-esteem (Nicholas Amelle, 2001: 2). They expected deviations such as bullying, crime, juvenile pregnancy, and drug abuse.
Guess what happened? This project was defeated in almost all sectors. Research has shown that increasing self-esteem does not lead to a correction of all these crimes and to achieve good behaviors; self-confidence should only be a side effect of the behavior and its increase will not be officially achieved. So what can we do?
To feel much better about yourself, an emotion that helps you to do better things and behave. Instead of finding ways to increase self confidence, look for something else. what? Researches have answered this question:
Forget about increasing self-esteem. Think of your own compassion.
“Take away the lie that you must complete. In front of you when you feel you are not full or weak, forgive yourself. ” Why? Because research has shown that increasing compassion for itself (self-compassion) has all the benefits of self-confidence, but without negative points.
As Nehem says, “Scientific results show that compassion not only has the benefits of self-confidence, but also does not include its negative aspects. Compassion and self-confidence tend to be together. If you have compassion for yourself, you will have more confidence in yourself. Also, as with high self-esteem, compassion for itself, along with a significant reduction in anger and stress, and creates happiness, optimism and positive emotions. Compassion for oneself, obviously, has more benefits to self-esteem, when faced with errors and difficulties, and when our pride is in danger. Interestingly, the level of self-compassion among individuals is predictive of the degree of anger, not the level of self-confidence. ” When you reinforce your compassion for yourself, if you get mistaken, you will feel less embarrassed. If self-confidence does not help in this situation.
One point is that this situation is more acute in women. Women often feel embarrassed or weakened by the definitions of misconception in society, seeking to find ways to increase self-esteem to resolve this feeling. (For more information, we recommend: Wife or a man?)
“I can continue to express my sympathy and the benefits and effects. But I’m sure you tell yourself now, just enough, just tell me how to do it. ”
Do not worry, it’s not hard at all.
There are many ways to increase self-compassion, but I’ll focus on just one of them, because it’s very easy. I want to talk to you. Slowly and even with the voice you hear (not within the mind).
The next time that the intruder inside your mind starts to say negative things, quickly replace the thoughts with something positive. The best way to deal with self-destructive sounds in your mind is to understand them, to feel compassion for them, and then to replace them with a positive voice.
Talking with yourself aloud can make you smart, improve your memory and help focus.
Perhaps you do not believe it, but research has shown that: “When doctors teach patients to imagine a safe place for themselves and create a caring person in their minds; depression, self-incapacitation, feelings of humiliation and shame are dramatically Patients are reduced. ”
Imagine being caught up with your friend. Now, negative thoughts come to you and fill your head, causing you to become more nervous and still do not behave properly. What do you think a loving mother will deal with such a thing? Probably less negative and maybe like this: “My dear, I know you were so upset that you gave up and thought that would make you better. But you saw, it did not have any effect.” Rejoice, why not step on a step. ”
You need to deal with negative thoughts and transform them into more positive forms
source : karboom.io